


All To Chance

by Whoaitspurple



Category: Glee
Genre: AUfic, F/F, Pezberry, rachel berry - Freeform, santana lopez - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:37:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoaitspurple/pseuds/Whoaitspurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tumblr AU Pezberry: She can't figure out what it is, but she may as well play along and be nice since they're gonna be neighbours and all. And then she notices Rachel's smile and Santana thinks, not like Brittany and definitely not like Quinn or Dani but then she decides to stop comparing because her new neighbor seems to be in a whole other league of her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. By Chance

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt isn't mine so I just wanna thank whoever's it is because I'm having tons of fun writing this.  
> I kind of put my own twist to it but the idea is still very much there. Hope you guys enjoy!

Not only is it a Monday morning; but it's a Monday morning when Santana,  _of course_ , sleeps through her alarm and stubs her toe on her desk and then realizes she's got about 10 mins to get to work on time.

"Fuck!" She breathes out, throws on her coat and snatches her apron on the way out the door. She decides to shoot a quick text out to Gunther letting him know she's on her way and to please, please, please not fire her when she notices the one elevator of her shitty building is reserved and not only is she already late, but now she has to run down 7 flights of fucking stairs.

_Who the fuck moves in on a Monday morning?_

So now, not only is it a Monday morning, but she's late for work, she's pretty sure her toe is fractured and now she has to worry about a new neighbor on her floor. She makes a mental note to find out who the new tenant is; not because she's nosy, but she vaguely remembers the weird couple who lived next door and had crazy wild sex in the middle of the afternoon and had a crazy, loud dog who scratches at the wall in the middle of the night. Basically, she's had enough of annoying neighbors and if she has to deal with another one, she'll almost be tempted to take Mike's offer as his new roommate because the dude decided to move into a stupid, expensive apartment on the Lower East Side on his own. But she likes living on her own; she can walk around naked, and she never has to worry about anyone eating her cereal. Growing up is awesome for the most part.

She's digging through her purse looking for her metropass when she finally reaches the first floor and—

"Whoa! Watch it!" Santana's holding her arms out to catch whatever content could've fallen out of the big ginormous box that's being held by some tiny human in front of her.

A girl with long, wavy brown hair, who's not really that much shorter than Santana, cranes her neck and looks up from behind the box, "Ugh, I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you." She says, moving to the right at the exact same time that Santana's moves to her left and they do this weird step away dance thing for a second until Santana groans frustratingly and finally angles her body to the side so the other girl can walk by.

"Sorry." The girl says again, and Santana mumbles an "it's okay" as she kind of does a double take at the girl walking away from her and she kind of gawks at the long, tanned legs (how can such a short girl even have that much leg?!) for a second before shaking her head and checks the time on her phone again before cursing the world again for making her late.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Three years ago, if you told her that she would be living in New York, working at a Broadway themed diner, playing into the stereotype of a hopeful actress and scraping by with tips so she can pay for headshots and go to auditions and—

Okay, that's a little bit of a lie. She's one of the lucky ones whose parents were totally supportive and actually cuts her a small check from her supposed college fund every other week. The thing was, Santana's plans three years ago included a full ride cheerleading scholarship to Kentucky, get through her undergrad and get her Masters in Law; she did end up being offered the full ride to the University of Kentucky at the end of her senior year. But then this stupid little glee club that Quinn made her join changed every aspect of her life and she realized how much she actually really loves performing and against her parents' better judgment, she spent an entire Friday night making a PowerPoint on why she should go to New York and chase her dreams to become the kick ass star she truly is.

"Santana!"

The brunette looks up from refilling salt shakers and sees Gunther at the other side of the bar, "Where's your head at? Table 4 still hasn't even been greeted yet." He says frustratingly, nudging his head towards the other side of the diner.

"My bad." She mumbles out, wiping her hands on her apron and making her way to table 4. She pulls out her notepad and pen and lets out a sigh, "Can I start you off with something to drink-

"Hey, it's you."

The tiny human with the nice legs puts down the menu in front of her and Santana notices her face for the first time and her mind goes blank for a second at this girl's smile because  _damn._

Santana blinks and mentally smacks herself for gawking, "It's me." She mutters out, and rolls her eyes at herself, "You're the new girl in my building?"

The girl giggles, fucking  _giggles_  at her and nods, "Rachel." She holds out her hand politely and Santana takes another second and decides she may as well play along. She can feel Gunther's stare from the bar behind her and she decides she can't really piss him off any more than she already has.

"Santana." She says, taking Rachel's hand.

Rachel nods again, the smile is still not leaving her face, and they stare at each other for a moment until Santana finally clears her throat and glances at the menu again, "So can I get you a coffee or something?" she asks, holding the pen against her notepad.

Rachel nods for a second and then, "Actually, just some water, please." She says softly, her smile slightly faltering, "And I guess just an order of your oatmeal and fruit."

Santana raises an eyebrow but writes down the order anyway, "You sure?" She asks; she may as well be friendly since they're like neighbors or whatever…and it helps that this girl is both cute  _and_ hot and that's too much of her weakness to ignore. "I would've thought you would be starving after moving all morning." Santana looks up again flashing the girl a smile, "Our French toast is actually pretty dope here."

Rachel's smile is back as she shrugs her shoulders, "Okay, sold." She says easily, handing Santana the menu, "Can I get that to go, though? I didn't realize the time and I'm supposed to meet my parents back at the apartment."

Santana's almost disappointed that the girl's not staying, but then she remembers she lives right across the hall now so…

"No worries," she replies, taking the menu from Rachel, "It'll be out in a second."

Santana walks away and notices Kurt leaning against the bar, arms folded across his chest, "Well, she's cute." He says, still looking over at Rachel's booth, "Didn't think she would be your type though, Satan."

Santana furrows her eyebrows and types the order into the system, "She's my new neighbor." She says, "And how do you know what my type is, Lady Lips?"

Chances are he probably does. Kurt moved to New York with Santana once they graduated high school. The hilarious thing is; they hated each other back then. And then sophomore year came along and Santana joined Glee where they were forced to get along and Lady Face ended up becoming one of her best friends. Kurt got accepted into NYADA and the two moved in together for a year until Kurt's boyfriend Blaine moved to the city and the two decided it was more convenient for Kurt to be closer to school and obviously, closer to Blaine as well.

Kurt smiles, "Well you usually go for blondes. Let's see…" he says easily, holding out his hands and counting fingers, "Brittany, Quinn, Dani—

"Quinn was from lack of better judgment and too many martinis," Santana rolls her eyes, "And Dani has blue hair now."

"She was blonde when you met her and when you first started dating." Kurt mutters, helping Santana with the last of the salt shakers, "Anyway, my gaydar is sensing some gay from your new neighbor," he says and that definitely got Santana's attention, "And you know my gaydar is always on point. So I say go for it."

The cook rings the bell indicating Rachel's French toast is ready so Santana gets up, "You think?" She asks absentmindedly, and then shakes her head realizing how pathetic she sounds right now. It's only been 5 months since her and Dani broke up; not that it was really that serious anyway, but still. She takes the container of food, idling by where Kurt was sitting and looking at the back of Rachel's head sitting in the booth.

"It's time you get your lesbian groove back, Santana." Kurt says, giving her a smack on the ass and pushing her towards the booth.

Santana glares at her friend over her shoulder as she walks away. She gets to Rachel's booth and puts down the container along with a glass of water, "French toast and some H2O on the rocks."  _Jesus fuck, Santana, can you be anymore lame right now?_

Rachel lets out a laugh and takes a sip of the water in front of her, "Well thank you, Santana." She says before letting herself out of the booth, "I guess I'll see you around then?" The girl sounds pretty hopeful, so Santana takes that as a good sign.

"I'll see ya." Santana says and she smiles before Rachel starts walking towards the door.  _Fuck it,_  "Wait, Rachel." The shorter girl turns around and looks at Santana expectedly, "If you like, need anything," she's fumbling through her words and she wants Kurt to literally throw something at the back of her head right now to get her back on track, "I mean, I know moving sucks so, if you need help, I'm just across the hall from you." She finally finishes.

Rachel flashes another smile, "I might take you up on that offer." She says before nodding and then waves goodbye to Santana before walking out the door.


	2. You can Stay

It's been a full week of diner shifts and auditions and the novelty of auditioning for lame ass commercials and off, off Broadway back up roles only lasts so long, so when Kurt asked her to go to Call Backs once her night shift was over that Saturday night, Santana was already out the door pulling at Kurt's arm because after the week she had? The thirst for tequila and vodka was just overwhelming at that point.

There was a lot of Amy Winehouse covers, and she didn't even say no when Kurt asked her to sing Out Tonight with him. They're at Call Backs enough times a week that Jack, the bartender, knows them all by name and even though Santana's pressed enough times that she's just not into penis, Jack will constantly ogle and give her free drinks just so she can keep coming to the bar to talk to him. Whatever, a free drink is a free drink.

She was about to get up to get another shot of tequila when Kurt puts his hand on her arm and shakes his head, "No, Santana." He blurts out, "Blaine will kill me if I stumble into the apartment wasted again."

Santana holds up the back of her hand against her mouth and giggles, so yeah she's pretty fucking tanked at this point. "Lady, come on." She whines, hiccupping as she speaks, "I had such a long week and you invited me out, remember?"

Kurt shakes his head again and takes Santana's coat before slinging the girl's arm around his shoulders, "Next weekend, okay? It's almost 1am and I have the morning shift tomorrow."

The brunette makes a noise that she, herself, doesn't even know what the hell it was so she just lets Kurt drag her out of the bar and into a cab, shooting out her address to the driver and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

She's pretty sure she dozed off 'cause before she knows it, the cab is stopped in front of her building and she throws the driver a few bills and makes her way into the building and into the elevator. The door finally opens to the seventh floor and she's digging into her purse to look for her keys when she hears quiet sniffling down the hall. She turns the corner and notices Rachel sitting against the door of her apartment, her head buried in her own arms.

"Rachel?"

The girl looks up, her face red and streaked with tears, "There you are." She says softly, uncrossing her arms and leans the back of her head against the door.

Santana makes a face and tries her hardest to not look like a drunken idiot in front of this girl, "Were you waiting for me?" She asks, slightly confused…she's drunk but she would've remembered if a girl was waiting for her. But then she hasn't even seen Rachel since that first time at the diner; not that she was really expecting any different, she barely had anytime to be at home this week anyway.

Rachel shakes her head and makes this small whimpering noise and Santana quickly rushes to the girl's side, pulling her into her arms. She doesn't even know who this girl is, or what the hell is going on, but fuck, there are tears and sobbing and Santana's drunk enough that her brain can barely form questions to ask.

So she just goes with, "What happened?"

Rachel wipes her face along her sleeve and lets out a small sigh, "I locked myself out," she manages, "And the super is out of town until tomorrow, and I don't know anyone else in the city, and you haven't been home all night." She cries out, dropping her head into her hands again.

"Okay, okay," Santana whispers soothingly, holding the shorter girl in her arms, "let's go in my apartment, you can stay there tonight."

Rachel looks up again, and even with a red, puffy face, Santana can't help but gaze at her brown eyes. "Really?" she blurts out, "But you don't even know me." She says in this small voice.

Santana gets up and lets out a sigh, "Well, what do you want me to say?" She mutters out, holding out her hand for Rachel to take, "You can either stay in this hallway all night and look like a homeless person, or you can go into my perfectly fine apartment and we can deal with this in the morning." This is partly the alcohol talking but she doesn't really care at this point because the tequila effect is totally at its peak now and all she wants to do is dig into her jar of peanut butter and curl up on her couch.

Rachel can't seem to find an argument for that so she takes the offered hand and pulls herself up, "Okay, then." Santana nods and forces a smile, "I promise, I'm not like a psycho axe murderer or anything."

The other girl looks at the Latina for a second and makes a face, "Are you drunk?" She asks.

Santana's smile fades, "Maybe." She says, shrugging her shoulders, "It's a Saturday night." She walks the foot and a half to her own door and unlocks it, "Make yourself at home."

She drops her keys into the bowl by the door and shrugs her coat off, before taking Rachel's and hanging it in the closet.

The shorter girl follows Santana into the apartment and looks around, "I didn't expect your place to look like this." She says, pausing at the mantel above the fireplace and then looking at Santana who's making a face, "It's just very Manhattan." Rachel explains, like that's supposed to make more sense than her last comment, "I figured you as more Brooklyn."

The Latina lets out a laugh and is silently cursing the double shots Jack was pouring her, "I had a gay roommate and he decorated everything." She says easily, pulling out a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard in the kitchen, "I just kept everything as is when he moved out."

Rachel nods and sits down on the black leather couch, Santana following soon after.

"So, you were like, really upset out there." Santana says, and she immediately wants to kick herself for sounding so insensitive, "I mean, I just…sorry—

Rachel shakes her head, "It's just been a long week." She sighs, "Moving was kind of a last minute deal."

Santana nods, waiting for the girl to go on and when she doesn't Santana lets out a sigh and stretches along the couch, "You're right, this shit's too heavy for a Saturday night," She says easily, "What do you like to do for fun, Rachel?"

Santana smiles again when she hears Rachel's laugh, "Well," the girl takes the spoon from Santana and dips it into the jar herself, "Broadway is my life." She says before putting the spoon into her mouth. Santana kind of stares for a second and tries to remember that she's literally only had two conversations with this girl, "And I wish I could still pursue it, but—

"Why can't you?" Santana asks, "You're in the best city for dreaming that big."

Rachel shrugs, "Things change." She mutters softly, "I have to think of a different plan."

Santana props her elbow along the back of the couch and yawns, "I had a different plan," She replies, pushing her hair off her shoulders, "And then I realized I'm meant for something much bigger." Rachel has this small smile when she says that and Santana lets out a sigh, "I want my name in lights too, Rachel. I don't see why you'd wanna give up on that dream."

Rachel looks down at her lap for a second and then looks back up at Santana through those long lashes and she doesn't know if it's the alcohol but this girl is seriously too beautiful for her own good, "Do you want some water?" Santana asks, her throat suddenly feeling dry.

"I should be asking you that." Rachel laughs and Santana smiles before getting up to get two glasses from the kitchen and filling it up under that tap.

Santana doesn't even realize what time it is when she notices Rachel yawn and when she looks at her phone, she realizes they've been talking for hours. She learned that Rachel was born and raised in the Bronx, has two gay dads and has been singing since she learned how to speak. She was in her high school show choir and is actually a NYADA student now. She's in her second year, while Kurt is in his third which is probably why he didn't recognize her at the diner.

Santana in turn, told her about Glee club, about her time as a Cheerio and how she was actually supposed to be in the University of Kentucky instead of living in New York. They talked Broadway musicals, and the fact that Rachel's playlist consisted of the weirdest mix of music ever, from Patti LuPone, to Justin Timberlake; the original Wicked soundtrack along with all of Biggie's albums, "Come on, how can I not like him? New Yorkers stick together, okay?" she reasons.

Rachel yawns again and Santana takes that as a cue to call it a night, "Listen, you can take the bed," she says, "I can sleep on the couch—

"Don't be silly, this is your apartment." Rachel replies, tucking her knees into her chest, "I'm not gonna take your bed."

Santana gets up and walks over to the closet to grab blankets and a pillow, "This couch is shit to sleep on," She mutters, "You'll thank me in the morning."

Rachel laughs, "I'll already be thanking you in the morning by taking you out to breakfast, "She says easily, "For letting me stay, when you barely even know who I am."

"Actually, I knew absolutely nothing about you." Santana says in a matter-of-fact tone, raising her eyebrow at the girl with a smile.

Rachel nods, "True."

"But now that I have more of an idea who you are," Santana states, "I have a king size bed," Did I seriously just offer my bed? While I'm in it? "We won't even be close to each other," She says quickly, trying to sound nonchalant, "Unless you sleep like a crazy person, then maybe you should take the couch."

Rachel looks unsure for a second and then looks at Santana shyly, "Well, if you're sure that's okay…"

Santana rolls her eyes, "Let's go, Gidget." She says jokingly, "I'm exhausted and still kind of drunk." She's off the couch now and walking towards her bedroom as Rachel follows.

The two take turns getting ready for bed, Santana letting Rachel borrow a pair of pajamas and a Cheerios sweater to sleep in.

"Santana," Rachel says softly and the Latina hums in response, curling into her pillow, "Thank you, again."

Santana opens her eyes and manages to roll over to face Rachel, two pillows in between them, "Don't even worry about it, Rach." She says easily with a smile, "But I will be holding you to breakfast in the morning."

Even in the dark, Santana notices Rachel's bright smile and she closes her eyes again, falling asleep quickly.


	3. Not While I'm Around

Santana flutters her eyes open when she hears the bathroom door click to a close and notices Rachel already dressed in the clothes she had on the night before. She stretches out and tries to ignore the pounding in her brain.

"I didn't mean to wake you." Rachel says softly sitting at the edge of the bed.

Santana yawns and shakes her head, "Did you sleep okay?" She asks, squinting her eyes. This headache is pretty legit and trying to be pleasant during a hangover is a skill she wasn't planning on practicing on a Sunday morning but then that stupid smile Rachel has is way too contagious to ignore.

The shorter girl nods, "I'm just always used to waking up early." She says as Santana pushes the blanket off her and struggles to make her way out of bed, "You don't have to get up, breakfast can wait."

Santana smiles, her eyes still squinted from the small hammer pounding at her skull, "Breakfast is a must right now," she mutters making her way to the bathroom, "And anyway, I vaguely remember you talking about your morning routine last night, and who am I to break that?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You can pick up, I don't mind." Santana says, taking a sip of her iced coffee. They've been at breakfast for almost an hour and the name Brody has been flashing on Rachel's phone screen. Santana's trying really hard not to be a little bit jealous and is silently cursing Kurt for giving her hope that Rachel wasn't completely straight but then the shorter girl shakes her head and shoves her phone into her purse before taking another bite of her pancakes, "Is that the boyfriend?" Santana asks, trying to sound as casual as possible and not at all jealous.

"Ex." Rachel mutters out, "If I can even call him that."

Santana makes a face and gestures with her hand for her to elaborate, "He goes to my school, and we hooked up a few times; I actually started to really like him and of course, I end up finding out that he's a actually a really big dirt bag who sleeps with people for money and—

"Hold up," Santana says, leaning over the table a little bit, "Your boyfriend is a gigolo?"

" _Ex-boyfriend."_  Rachel corrects, "Anyway, this was just a big validation that I should have just stuck with girls." She says easily with a sigh.

Santana's eyes widen a bit and clears her throat, trying to act nonchalant and not at all fucking ecstatic because,  _yes_.

Rachel takes a sip of her water before looking back up at Santana, "What about you?" she asks softly, "Anyone special?"

Santana shakes her head, "We broke up a few months ago." She mutters, "Wasn't that serious though; she dipped when she found a new gig down in San Diego."

Rachel nods slowly, picking at her food with her fork. The weird thing is, Santana knows she doesn't usually do this. She'll go out on dates once in a while, but after Brittany— as much as she doesn't want to admit it, Dani was just a really great distraction from her high school sweet heart. She hasn't been out with anyone else after Dani; Kurt tries to encourage it and Mike has even tried taking her out and being her wingman by subtly trying to guess the lesbian in whatever bar they're at but Santana just knocks it down, not wanting to be bothered with it.

So the fact that she's at breakfast with this random girl, who lives across the hall and has already slept in her bed sans getting any mack on? Yeah, she's trying to wrap her head around that.

"Hey, you said that you grew up in the Bronx right?" Santana asks, vaguely remembering their conversation last night, "And you go to NYADA?" Rachel nods and Santana furrows her eyebrows, "I don't mean to pry," Santana says, "Well actually, I do, but I'm curious, you said you didn't know anyone else in the city, so what's up with that?"

Rachel lets out a sigh, "I guess it's more that I don't  _have_  anyone else in the city that…it's complicated…"

"I've got time." Santana says simply, leaning back against her chair. The girl's slept in her bed, she has the right to know some things…and it's just not in her nature to feel comfortable in the dark. She's a curious person, okay?

Rachel's quiet for a second, and Santana can see that the girl is trying to find the right words to start with, and she feels this tiny pang of guilt, "Are you doing anything today?" She asks suddenly, making Rachel snap out of her thoughts.

The smaller girl shakes her head and Santana crosses her arms on top of the table, "I have a killer movie collection complete with Westside Story, Funny Girl and Rent, among others," She says with a smile, "What do you say?"

Rachel gives her this really warm smile that makes her think, not like Brittany, and definitely not like Quinn or Dani. But then she decides to stop comparing because Rachel seems to be in a league of her own, as far as Santana can tell.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rachel knows she's way in above her head now. Moving out was a split second decision because she couldn't stand to look at her dads and know that she may have just messed up her chances at what the three of them have planned and worked on together since she was three years old. She got herself pregnant with a guy who's been lying about what his job was and not only is she disgusted by his actions, but she's angry at herself for being so blind sighted.

She hasn't told anyone about the pregnancy; not Brody and not her parents. As far as her dads know, she wanted to move to her own place to create her own independence and they've talked about it enough in the last year that they barely even questioned it. She's not avoiding the issue, she knows fully well what repercussions she'll have to face in the very near future, but she needs to figure it out on her own. She almost feels awful for not telling Brody about the pregnancy, but she's still too pissed off to even answer his phone calls, never mind let him know that she's carrying his baby. Surprisingly, she's only cried once, and that was on her own doorstep the night before and all she was upset about was that she was locked out and their stupid superintendent was out of town. But she didn't cry when she found those text messages on Brody's phone, she barely had any emotions when she saw that the pregnancy test was positive; and when the doctor confirmed that she was pregnant, she nodded her head, grabbed her stuff and left the doctor's office, not even shedding a tear.

And now she's spending an entire Sunday at this girl's apartment, who she barely knows, and for some odd reason, Rachel seems to be ignoring all of her usual protocols with strangers and she hasn't even felt uneasy about it once. Santana has been so incredibly kind to her and even after sobbing and being completely hormonal the night before, the other girl hasn't pressed or pushed Rachel to answer anything she wasn't comfortable with.

They've spent the day on Santana's couch, laughing and watching musicals and talking about Santana's time in the city, how she decided New York was more of her speed as opposed to cheerleading in Kentucky. Rachel spoke about NYADA, why she became a vegetarian (much to Santana's dismay, it seemed) and the two even bonded over their own high school show choir experience.

The main thing is, Rachel's never met anyone like Santana before. She can tell that the girl puts up a tough exterior, but the way she talks about performing with such passion that she's never noticed from anyone she's known, but herself; Rachel can't seem to distance away from that. She spent one night with the other girl, and now almost an entire day, but it feels so much more than that. And yes, she knows how cheesy and completely absurd that sounds, but—

"I just know that I'm meant for something bigger." Santana says as the two girls laze on the couch, Rent playing in the background, "And I may not have it all figured out, but I know in my gut that this is where I'm supposed to be."

Rachel nods in understanding, and she wants to say that she knows; she knows because that's always been her own guiding light, the belief that she's meant for something special, that she, herself, is meant to  _be_  special. But now, she's not so sure. Being with a baby in the city, trying to be a star wasn't exactly a part of her plan.

"Are you sure you don't want a glass of wine?" Santana asks, reaching over to the coffee table to grab the bottle, "I mean, it's like a 6 dollar bottle so it tastes pretty shitty, but it does the job just fine."

Rachel shakes her head, "I'm okay, thank you." She says politely, noticing Santana rolling her eyes.

"So let me get this straight, " the taller girl says before taking a sip of her wine and then turning her body to face Rachel, "You don't drink coffee, you don't even want wine." Santana snorts jokingly, "I would actually end up murdering somebody."

Rachel forces a laugh and shifts on the couch and faces the TV again, trying to hide her discomfort. She can feel Santana looking at her and she can tell the girl is trying to piece this puzzle together. Rachel sucks at lying, she's awful at secrets and hiding anything at all, which was why she needed to get out of her parents' place.

"Wait a second." Santana says finally, shifting closer to Rachel, "Rach, are you…are you pregnant?"

Rachel stays quiet for a second, trying to calm her nerves but her emotions have been on constant overdrive lately that she buries her face in her hands before she could even stop herself.

Santana immediately moves to the smaller girl's side, pulling her into her embrace, "Shhh, it's okay." She whispers soothingly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—

Rachel shakes her head a few times and tries to breathe in deeply, "It's okay." She chokes out, "I just…I'm still trying to figure it all out."

Santana nods, her arm still wrapped around Rachel's shoulders. They stay like that for a few minutes, Santana letting Rachel breathe and calm down.

"Look, I know that we just met and you have no reason to believe anything that I say," The taller girl says softly, "But, you don't have to figure this out on your own." She's not really sure where this is coming from, but Rachel is crying in her arms and Santana feels the sudden need to make her feel better, "You can talk to me, and…I don't know, you just don't have to feel alone, okay?"

Rachel's crying again and Santana just holds her tighter and then Rachel buries her face into Santana's neck, "I'm pregnant." She sobs, and she realizes that's the first time she's ever said it out loud since she's found out and she always figured that if she ever said it, that it would be real, but right now, it still feels so bizarre that all she can do is hold on to Santana and cry.


	4. Conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this a couple of hours ago but decided to extend the chapter a bit more. Hope you guys like what I added!

"So she’s off limits then?"    
  
Santana makes a face at Mike, “I meant like universally.” He laughs before throwing a fry in his mouth, “Since she’s like, with child and what not.”  
  
They’re at some random burger joint in Queens because she had a small audition and Mike works part time at a dance studio around the corner.    
  
"That didn’t even make any sense.” She says, “But is that your way of asking if I’m still going to mack on her?” Santana asks, playing with the straw in her drink, “Because I’m not going to. Believe it or not, I’m capable of just being a decent human being.” Mike doesn’t say anything, he has this smug ass grin on his face and Santana laughs, “I wanna help her out, okay?”  
  
“Well that is quite decent of you” is all he says.    
  
It’s not a lie. She really does want to be there for this girl who she's known for just a little over a month. She knows what it feels like to have the rug pulled from underneath you and regardless of how strong of a front Rachel is putting on, no one should have to go through that alone.  
  
What Mike doesn’t know is that Rachel’s pretty much been over every other day since that night she locked herself out of her apartment. It’s all been extremely PG; Rachel comes over when she’s done class for the day and they watch movies. Santana cooks because Rachel can’t and Rachel tidies up her apartment (much to Santana’s defiance) because Santana didn’t even know she owns a swiffer.  
  
"Can I just ask, how am I only hearing about this girl now?" He asks and Santana shrugs,“Look San, I’m all for you getting back into dating and stuff but—  
  
“We’re just friends, Mike.” Santana says, rolling her eyes, “I’m capable of being friends with girls and not need to date them.”    
  
“Brittany, Quinn, Dani—    
  
"Ya’ll need to quit with that.” Santana interrupts, “Rachel is different.”    
  
Mike laughs as he puts down a few bills on the table, “You know I’m just messing with you.” He finishes his beer and crosses his arms across his chest, “When do I get to meet her?”    
  
Santana raises an eyebrow at him, "I don't know, since when exactly are you required to meet and approve of all the new friends I make?”  
  
Mike shakes his head and snorts, “I know how much of a bad ass you think you are,” he says as he gets up from his seat, “but I know how you get when you want something. Even before you realize you do.” He smiles when he notices Santana’s scowl, “You ready to go?”   
  
....  
  
It’s a late Saturday afternoon and Santana hasn’t heard from Rachel all day. It’s odd because Santana will usually wake up to the other girl knocking on her door, coffee for Santana and her steeped tea and bagels in hand, fresh from the bakery down the street after her morning run (Santana still questions this part of the routine since Rachel is just a bit over 4 months pregnant now even if the girl insists that "pregnancy doesn't need to stop me from being physically active, Santana.")  
  
But it’s almost 3 and the only person she's heard from was her mom, going on for 20 mins about some new Pilates machine she bought online. She hasn’t even gotten a text message from Rachel so she decides to finally put some pants on and make her way across the hall.    
  
Santana knocks a few times and she finally hears footsteps coming towards the door.    
  
“Well, hello.” Some guy with a mohawk answers.    
  
“Um, is Rachel around?” Santana’s trying not to look surprised, or annoyed since she’s being looked up and down right now.    
  
“She is.” Is all she gets from him, “I’m guessing you’re Santana?” Mohawk asks with a smirk that Santana probably would’ve flirted with when she was still her closeted self in high school, but now all she can do is glare at this random guy in front of her.    
  
“That’s me.” She grits out, “Are you Brody?”    
  
Mohawk fucking snorts at her and all Santana can do is fold her arms across her chest to keep from slapping this guy.    
  
“Rachel! Some hot girl is looking for you!” He yells out over his shoulder, not looking away from her, “I’m sure as hell not Brody, babe.” He says smugly.    
  
Rachel finally shows up, her hair in a towel and Santana is torn between being pissed and confused because this totally looks like the wrong time to be finding out that Rachel’s shagging some other guy that’s not even her baby daddy.    
  
“Santana! Hey!” Rachel walks over and leans in to give Santana a kiss on her cheek and...what the hell is going on right now? “This is my friend Noah.” She says, pulling away and putting a hand on Mohawk’s arm, “Puck, this is the girl I was telling you about.” So...Rachel talks about her then, noted.    
  
Noah, or Puck or whatever this guy’s name is just smirks at her again and leans against the door, “It’s a real shame I have to leave now.” He says, throwing an arm around Rachel’s shoulders, his eyes not leaving Santana, “and that you’re a lesbian.”  
  
“Noah!” Rachel smacks his side and pushes him away and Santana is standing there watching them, not knowing what she’s really supposed to be doing right now. Mohawk laughs again, “I’ll talk to you later, Rach.” He says before dropping a kiss on the side of Rachel’s head, “It’s good to finally meet you, Santana.”  
  
Santana nods and steps aside to let him through the door and she’s kind of at a loss for words so she just watches him down the hallway until disappearing around the corner towards the elevator.  
  
"Are you gonna come in?"  
  
Santana turns her head back towards Rachel who's already walking towards her kitchen table and Santana isn’t entirely sure what else to make of the situation so she just follows and shuts the door behind her.  
  
Rachel's sitting at the table now, one leg tucked underneath her, "Noah's been my best friend since, like, kindergarten." She explains with a laugh, obviously noticing Santana's confusion, "He surprised me this morning. I called to see if you wanted to come for lunch, but you never answered."  
  
Santana furrows her eyebrows and checks her phone, sure enough, there's a missed voicemail from Rachel.  
  
"I was on the phone with my mom, I didn't even notice." She explains, shoving the phone back into her sweater pocket and taking a seat across from the other girl, "So, have you and Mohawk ever dated?" She asks jokingly, even though she genuinely wants to know, because, reasons.  
  
Rachel smiles and raises an eyebrow, "We tried in high school actually," and Santana stops herself from making a face, "it just made sense. But then we decided I was more interested in whatever musical was going on at our school and he was more interested in hooking up with every cheerleader in our squad so it was for the better to stay best friends instead."  
  
Santana hums in response and starts absent-mindedly picking at Rachel's place mat on the table, "I feel like you two would get along really well actually." Rachel adds in a matter of fact tone of voice.  
  
The taller girl makes a face, "He's not exactly my type, Rachel." She mutters out with a small laugh. Maybe back in high school, she thinks, but she doesn't say that.  
  
"What is your type exactly?"  
  
Santana looks up at the girl in front of her and raises an eyebrow. Rachel looks at her expectantly with those big brown eyes and Santana silently curses Mike for putting ideas in her head that she shouldn't even be thinking about her pregnant neighbor.  
  
"Girls." Santana huffs out with a smile and leans back on her chair, "Girls are my type."  
  
"That, I already knew." Rachel laughs and leans back against her chair, "Well anyway, I'm glad you're here," she says, and Santana couldn't help but smile at that, "I wanted to ask you something, and you could totally say no if it's weird and whatever..."  
  
Santana shakes her head, "What's up?"  
  
Rachel looks down at her hands for a second and lets out a breath, "I have a doctor's appointment on Monday and I don't...I don't know...I just--  
  
"I can come with you." Santana says before she could even stop herself, "I mean, if that's what you're asking."  
  
She could totally be seeing things, but Rachel looks relieved, "Really? My dads are in Florida visiting friends and I could ask Noah, but I thought he'd probably feel uncomfortable with that."  
  
Santana nods, "Does he know Brody's not in the picture?" she asks carefully.  
  
Rachel lets out a sigh and nods slowly, "And it took a whole lot of convincing for him not to go and hunt Brody down and probably get arrested for aggravated assault."  
  
"Can't say I disagree with his reaction." Santana says flipping her hair over her shoulder. The technicalities have been sorted out for the most part; Rachel's finally told her fathers and as expected, they wanted her to move back in right away but Rachel insisted she is more than capable of staying closer to the city on her own and if needed, of course she wouldn't hesitate to call. She's also told Brody about the situation and Santana's still not exactly sure what that meeting entailed but Rachel turned up at her place late one night, her voice still stained with tears and said that Brody knows and will not be in the picture. Santana knew not to push and ask anything further; if Rachel wants to tell her, she will.  
  
"Anyway, what's the appointment for?"  
  
"I have another checkup," The other girl mutters, her eyes not meeting Santana's anymore, "and they said I could find out the sex of the baby if I want."  
  
Santana nods in understanding. It's not that they avoid the conversation. It's just that...well she knows that her and Rachel are friends now, and she's more than willing to help and be there for her friend as much as she can, but she's not entirely sure of Rachel's boundaries yet either and she doesn't wanna cross any lines she's not supposed to cross. All she really knows how to do right now is to be there when Rachel needs to talk things through because if there's anything she's learned about the girl in the last month, it's that the chick can't keep anything bottled up for too long. And Santana’s learned to let her brain process comments before she opens her mouth (which is strange even to her since she usually doesn't give a crap what people think about what she says...but she cares about what Rachel thinks and... _wait_ , Santana, stop, she's your _friend_ ).

“Santana?”

The taller girl looks up to see Rachel looking at her expectantly, “So…you’ll come?” She asks with a small uncomfortable laugh.

“No, yeah, of course.” Santana says quickly, “I’ll be there.”

…..

Santana could tell Rachel was nervous even before they left the apartment building, but now she could easily tell the amount of anxiety Rachel is clearly having when the girl’s barely said two words since the nurse brought them into the small room and Rachel’s been tugging on loose threads of her sweater and Santana’s afraid the knit sweater will start unravelling if she doesn’t take Rachel’s mind off of it soon.

“How about we go to Call Backs tonight?” Santana asks, trying to break the god awful tension in the room.

Rachel looks at her from the small bed the nurse told her to sit on, “Santana, it’s a Monday.”

“Oh come on, I know how much you NYADA students love that place. I’ll ask Kurt to come too.” Santana says as she pulls out her cell phone. It wasn’t a surprise at all that Kurt and Rachel ended up hitting off so quickly. All it took was for Santana to pull out the Karaoke machine Quinn got her on their first month of being in Glee (as a joke mostly) on a night Rachel was over and Kurt happened to stop by and the two ended up doing duets for a solid 2 hours together.

Just as she unlocked her phone she notices a message from Kurt and Mike already and she swipes her phone to read Mike’s message first.

****_Thought you should know, Britt’s in town for an audition.  
She wants to see us tonight but thought I should ask you first.   
Already msged Kurt. Let me know._

Santana’s chest suddenly feels heavy and she doesn’t even realize that the nurse has walked in again and Rachel’s already lying down, ready for the ultrasound.

“Is everything okay?”

Santana looks up and notices Rachel pulling up her shirt for the nurse and Santana nods her head quickly, shoving her phone into her purse again and walking over closer to Rachel.

“All good,” She manages to choke out despite the hard lump in her throat, “Are you okay?”

Rachel forces a small smile and nods at the nurse, urging her to go on. The older woman smiles softly and starts pointing to the screen and when Santana hears, “And that right there, is your baby” she feels Rachel’s hand find hers and grasp onto it tightly. She glances at the screen and then back at Rachel and she can’t seem to help whatever bugs are fluttering in her stomach, instantly pushing aside the thought of Mike’s message from earlier.

“Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” The nurse asks and Rachel doesn’t even look away from the screen as she nods her head. The nurse rolls the transducer along Rachel’s middle for another moment and says, “It looks like you’re having a baby girl, Rachel.”

Rachel stays quiet, her eyes not leaving the screen in front of her and she places the back of her hand on her lips for a tiny moment until she looks up at Santana, her eyes brimming with what seemed like happy tears and mutters, “I’m having a daughter.”

….

“Please don’t name her Barbra.” Santana says jokingly as she hops out of the cab and holds the door for Rachel.

Rachel links their arms together and laughs, “Maybe for her middle name.” She says easily before pressing the button to the seventh floor.

“Okay, that would actually be pretty cute.”

The two girls round the corner and when Rachel hesitates on their next step, Santana looks up to see Kurt, Mike and Brittany standing outside her door.

…..

Rachel doesn’t need to ask who the blonde girl is standing in front of her judging how quickly Santana tenses in her arms. She’s only heard about Brittany a few times; Santana’s best friend and high school sweet heart who’s tall, blonde, beautiful and the complete opposite of Rachel.

She lets go of Santana’s arm and the two girls walk closer to Santana’s apartment.

“What are you guys doing here?” Santana asks, a slight edge to her voice, but Brittany must not have noticed because she immediately wraps Santana in a tight embrace.

“I have an audition, I thought these guys told you.” the blonde girl says cheerfully before turning her attention to Rachel, “You must be Rachel, I’m Brittany!”

Rachel was about to politely extend her hand until Brittany pulls her into a tight embrace as well and she suddenly hears someone clear their throat forcefully.

“I’m Mike,” the other guy says, extending a hand towards Rachel, “It’s good to finally meet you.” He says with a warm smile and Rachel doesn’t know what else to say so she smiles back just as warmly and looks over at Santana, looking for some sort of cue.

“Why don’t we go inside, huh?” Kurt finally says, when Santana doesn’t make a move to open the door.

As if snapping out of a trance, Santana nods her head and Rachel almost backs away to go into her own apartment, when she feels Santana put a hand on the small of her back and when Rachel glances at her— maybe she’s seeing things, or maybe it’s only because of the afternoon they just shared but she notices Santana smiling softly at her as if to say, _please stay_ and Rachel does.

….

“Tell me what’s going on right now.” Santana grits out quietly as she grabs a hold of Kurt’s elbow, pulling him back as Brittany, Mike and Rachel walk into her apartment.

“Hey, I tried texting you three times,” Kurt mutters, “And I tried calling but you didn’t answer. You know how persistent Brittany can be.”

“I only read Mike’s message,” Santana is trying extremely hard to keep her voice down now, “And you knew I would be with Rachel, why would you bring her here?”

Kurt makes a face and glances over at Brittany, Mike and Rachel who are looking out the window at Santana’s view, and then back over at Santana, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware today is exclusively Rachel and Santana only day.” He says mockingly, “And besides, you said Rachel is only your _friend_ , remember? And so are we, so why can’t we all be together?”

“Hummel, I swear to God, if anyone mentions anything about high school or mine and Brittany’s relationship, I will—

“San, your place is amazing!” Brittany chimes in and Santana shuts her mouth immediately, “Kurt said something about dinner and going to some NYADA bar later, can we go? Rachel, you go to NYADA too, right? We should all go!”

Santana notices Mike shove his hands in his pockets and shrugs and Rachel is looking at her like she’s waiting for Santana’s approval and _God_ , this shouldn’t even feel this unsettling, but her ex-girlfriend and—fuck it, she’s just going to admit it to herself now—the neighbor she’s obviously crushing hard on is in the same room together and, _of course_ she wants to spend time with Brittany, but she doesn’t want to not spend time with Rachel either so—

“Dinner and Call Backs it is,” She sighs, forcing a smile, “We were thinking Call Backs tonight already anyway, right Rach?”

She’s hoping Rachel can somehow read her mind right now and notice that she’s actually saying _“Don’t say no and hate me for dragging you into hanging out with my friends and ex-girlfriend tonight”._ And when Rachel flashes her a small smile and says, “I guess I can’t really say no to Call Backs, can I?” Well, Santana can’t help but smile gratefully back at her either.


	5. It starts at the very first spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking there will be one or two more chapters after this. Thanks so much for reading guys and the feedback is much appreciated!

She knows the night could be turning out much worse. They’re having dinner at some Italian restaurant Santana’s never heard of before but Kurt said “the polenta fries are to _die_ for” and Rachel agreed and got all giddy with excitement even though Santana doesn’t even know what the fuck polenta fries are but _whatever;_  she’s sharing a bottle of Chardonnay with Kurt and yeah, this night could be turning out much worse.

They mostly talked about what Brittany is auditioning for; how life is in LA and that Mike should really consider moving since Brittany could probably score him a gig with the dance company she’s signed with now.

“Mike wouldn’t survive in L.A.,” Santana says, shoving a polenta fry in her mouth (and yes, they are fucking delicious) “He pretty much gags every time he sees some sort of green juice or smoothie and isn’t that what people in L.A. pretty much live on?”

Mike snorts, “I can handle kale, okay? It’s that Santana would miss the fuck out of me too much.”

She couldn’t even disagree with that. Between Kurt and Mike, Santana’s got her feet planted firmly on the ground. She and Kurt may have big dreams and big ambitions but Mike is there to keep her reality in check when she gets too caught up in the New York lifestyle and she loves him for it.

“Have you ever thought about moving to the west coast, Rachel?” Brittany asks, “You’re an actress aren’t you?”

“She’s more Broadway than LA.” Santana interrupts before Rachel even gets a word in; maybe the chardonnay _is_ slightly getting to her head. Only slightly.

She almost doesn’t notice the look Brittany gives her but then she’s snapped back into the moment when Rachel lets out a small laugh, “It’s true. I wouldn’t mind seeking out opportunities in LA one day but New York has a way of turning you into some sort of alien that don’t translate outside of the Metropolitan area after a while; I don’t know how well I would cope if I’m away from the city for too long.”

“Cheers to that, huh?” Kurt suddenly chimes in, clearly noticing Santana and Brittany’s exchange. Santana’s about a glass of wine past caring so she just clinks her glass with Kurt and offers Rachel a small smile that the other girl seems to gladly accept.

….

Call Backs turns out to be busier than expected but they lucked out and found a booth closer to the back door.

Rachel excuses herself for the bathroom once Brittany finds a song for her and Kurt to sing to leaving Santana and Mike at the booth.

“You were right.”

Mike turns to Santana who’s looking to the stage which is now being occupied by Kurt and Brittany. “Of course I’m right. But what about?”

Santana looks at him for a second and lets out a sigh, "About Rachel; I don't want to just be her friend."  
  
Mike takes another swig of his beer, "Shocker."  
  
Santana scowls and nudges his shoulder with hers, "But seeing Britt...I don't know...is it always going to feel this way?"  
  
Mike lets out a sigh, "Listen, Santana, you and Britt...yeah, it was great in high school," he begins as Santana swishes the ice around in her drink, "but that was high school; we were kids." Santana gives him a look and Mike lets out a small laugh, "I'm not saying what you guys had wasn't real, because I know it was. But maybe it's time to accept that we're all different people now. Do you really see yourself with Brittany again?"  
  
Santana looks up and notices Brittany pulling a non-suspecting Rachel up on stage to sing How Will I Know and Santana thinks, for the first time since she was 16, she wasn't waiting for Brittany's eyes to find hers, or Brittany's smile to be thrown her way...she wasn't waiting for Brittany this time.  
  
Rachel's eyes meet hers from across the bar almost immediately and when Rachel flashes her that smile, Santana glances over back at Mike, leaning back in his chair, "I'm excited to see how this plays out." He says with a smirk.  
  
Santana downs her drink, "Shut it, Boy Chang."  
  
....  
  
It's not that she isn't having any fun, because she is. Rachel knows this is the kind of night she's needed after what she's been through the last few months and yeah, she's having a great time. She's not going to complain about the company either since they were kind enough to invite and welcome her with open arms. And even though it was a little rough at the beginning of the night, she can tell how close Santana is with her best friends and it's not a surprise; she instantly fell in love with Kurt as soon as she met him and while this was the first time she met Mike, Santana talks about him so much that she pretty much knows how much of a brother he's been to Santana and seriously, you look at the guy, and you can't help but smile at him, like all the time.  
  
And Brittany; if Rachel is going to be honest, she's seriously wondering why Santana and Brittany ever broke up. Saying the two were in sync would be the biggest understatement of the century; the two girls finish each other's sentences, they even seem to have their own conversations by just a look and Rachel's been trying to push aside the nagging feeling of jealousy whenever she noticed it. She and Santana have gotten along so well during the last several weeks and even though they haven't known each other for a very long time, Santana's kind of become her rock for the last month or so.  
  
She's not naive to think things can actually go a different direction between them especially because of her current situation, and seriously, looking back at what she knows of Santana's dating history, she doesn't exactly fall into the girl's type. She's seen pictures of Quinn and Dani from Santana's Facebook, and now that she's seen and met Brittany...well it's a pretty safe bet that she's a pretty far cry from what Santana's probably looking for.  
  
She knows she's coming pretty close to dangerous territory, but she can't seem to distance herself away from the girl and she can blame her hormones as much as she wants but really, Santana's gorgeous, and although their personalities are polar opposites, there's something about the girl that keeps Rachel wanting to know more.  
  
She's been singing a few songs with Kurt and even Brittany, and with enough convincing, Kurt got Mike to sing Man in the Mirror while Santana and Brittany head to the bar for more drinks. Rachel wasn't trying to watch them or anything, but the two girls seem to be having a slightly heavier conversation while waiting for their drinks and when she notices Brittany place a hand on Santana's hip, she forces herself to look away and she doesn't even realize it's past midnight until she finally checks her phone and notices missed calls from her dads and decides it's probably time for her to head home.  
  
"Shit, I didn't even realize how late it is." Santana says (slurring a tiny bit) once the four of them were back at the booth and Rachel mentions that she should be heading out, "We should get you home then."  
  
Rachel shakes her head, "No, stay." She says as she extends a goodbye hug to Kurt, "I'm the buzz kill, remember? You should be drinking for me." She jokes and forces a smile.  
  
"I think Santana's had enough to drink anyway." Mike laughs.  
  
"What did I say about shutting it, Chang?" Santana says as she pushes her way out of the booth, "Britt, you'll call before you head to the airport?"  
  
Rachel looks over at Brittany who nods stiffly and then gives Rachel a hug from her seat, "It's great to finally meet you, Rachel. I'm sure I'll see you again soon."  
  
Rachel agrees and as she walks away, she feels Santana's arm around her waist, leading her through the crowd towards the door, and she couldn't help but melt into it a bit more even once they were out of the bar.  
  
....  
  
The cab was strangely quiet but once they were inside their building and in the elevator, Santana softly hip bumps Rachel, forcing the other girl to look at her, "Did you have a good time?"   
  
Rachel smiles genuinely and bumps her back, "I did. Did you?"  
  
"Yeah." Santana sighs, "Sorry it was so like...sudden. I had no idea Brittany would be in town."  
  
"Why would you be sorry?"  
  
 _Good question_. "I don't even know." Santana laughs softly as the elevator doors open and she didn't realize how difficult it is to go through your purse and walk at the same time.  
  
"Are you okay, San?" Rachel asks, putting a hand on the other girl's arm when she notices that Santana could barely walk straight as she burrows through her bag.  
  
Santana looks up, and yeah she's definitely a little bit more than tipsy, "Yeah, I just...I can't find my keys."  
  
Rachel laughs, "You locked yourself out."  
  
 "We've come full circle apparently." Santana says, letting her shoulders drop.  
  
The shorter girl unlocks her apartment and swings the door open, turning back to face Santana, "Make yourself at home, Lopez."  
  
....  
  
"Water?"  
  
Santana plops down on the couch and lets out a breath, "Uh huh. And peanut butter, por favor."  
  
Rachel laughs and hands the other girl a glass of water and a jar of peanut butter with a spoon as she sits down on the opposite side of the couch.  
  
Santana takes a long swig and looks at Rachel who is taking her own spoonful from the jar, "Thanks for coming tonight." She mutters suddenly, deciding they've been quiet for too long.  
  
Rachel cocks her head to the side with a small smile, "Thanks for having me." She says, "Can I ask you a question?"  
  
Santana nods, "You can even ask me another one if you want." She says, flicking the spoon towards Rachel jokingly.  
  
Rachel rolls her eyes, "What's the deal with you and Brittany?" She asks and she notices Santana smile falter for a tiny moment, "I mean, we're friends right? We can talk about this?"  
  
"Wouldn't you rather talk about how good this peanut butter is instead?" Santana asks, and when Rachel purses her lips, well, whatever-- she's drunk, which is usually the best state of mind to talk about this topic anyway.  
  
"Brittany and I are history." She says, before she could even really process much else to say, but then she decides that's probably a pretty spot on statement, "Yeah I loved her, but it was a long time ago, and maybe it took me a little while to get it but we're better off. She's got LA, I have New York. We're still best friends, and it may not be the same as it was, but I know it'll just take some time. I'm ready to move on."  
  
Rachel nods in understanding as she leans her back against the arm of the couch, “Was that what that conversation was at the bar?” she asks carefully, she’s not exactly sure where she found the courage to ask these questions, but Santana doesn’t usually have much to say about her ex-girlfriend and if Rachel’s going to be honest, she’s been extremely curious, especially after tonight.

“Creeping me, are you, Berry?” Santana asks with a smirk.

“No, I—I just…

Santana laughs and waves her off, “Brittany likes to check in on me, that’s all. I think we were both at the same place; trying to figure out if maybe we could still be right for each other.” She sighs, “But tonight kind of settled it for me; seeing her for the first time in months, it was closure I guess.”

“Well I’m happy to hear that," she says and Santana raises an eyebrow, "I mean, that you're moving on and at a good place." She says quickly, mentally face palming herself.  
  
"And what about you?"

  
"What about me?" Rachel's eyes aren't meeting Santana's anymore as she takes another small scoop of peanut butter.  
  
"Any...like prospects, or whatever?" Santana asks as she adjusts herself on the couch so she's sitting cross legged facing Rachel, her elbows propped against her knees.  
  
Rachel snorts back a laugh, "I'm not exactly in the right state to be dating, don't you think?"  
  
Santana rolls her eyes at that, "Rachel, you're pregnant, not dead."  
  
"You mean that's not the same thing?" The shorter girl says mockingly, "Okay, bad joke. But come on, pregnancy isn't exactly the biggest turn on."  
  
Santana doesn't say anything, just looks at the other girl for a moment before taking a deep breath, "Will you go to dinner with me?" She asks, and she wasn't planning on allowing her mouth to say that but hey, tequila.  
  
Rachel is holding the spoon by her mouth, looking at Santana and then lets out a small laugh, "You mean like what we usually do? Because we have dinners together all the time."  
  
Santana shakes her head and composes herself before trying again, "No, this time, I won't be making vegan pasta or vegan grilled cheese." She says, watching Rachel's reaction, "I wanna take you out on a date."  
  
"You're drunk."  
  
Santana nods her head slowly, "That's true, but I still want to take you out."  
  
"Santana..."  
  
The taller girl shakes her head and edges herself closer, "Look, Rach, I like you. And I know you kind of like me too. If I'm wrong, tell me now and we'll say good night and I'll sleep on this couch and we can pretend we never had this conversation." She’s already gone this far, and she knows this could probably be one of the worst ideas she’s ever had, but Rachel’s looking at her with those brown eyes, and _yes_ , things could be complicated but for some reason, she just left the girl she thought she could spend the rest of her life with across town to be here…with Rachel…so the universe _must_ be trying to tell her something, right?  
  
The shorter girl lets out a small sigh, "I'm pregnant."  
  
"And this isn't all of my real hair, but is that relevant?"  
  
Rachel laughs and takes Santana's hand in hers, "You're not wrong." She says softly, “But we’ll figure this out tomorrow, okay? When you’re a little more sober.”

Santana tugs at Rachel’s hand, “Rach, I promise this isn’t the alcohol talking…okay maybe it is, but it’s what I’ve been thinking for weeks. And it’s only dinner, I’m not looking to rent out a U-Haul anytime soon…although we wouldn’t really need one…” Rachel’s eyes widen for second and Santana shakes her head with a laugh, “I’m kidding…just dinner, that’s all.”

Rachel lets out a small sigh and before Santana can say anything else, Rachel leans in and presses a small kiss against Santana’s lips, “Okay.” She says softly after pulling away just enough to look at Santana’s face, “We’ll go to dinner.”


	6. The Calm before the Storm

"Can you do that again?" Santana asks. She doesn't know if it was the kiss or the liquor; most likely a mixture of both but she feels light headed in the best sense.  
  
Rachel lets out a small laugh and nods her head once before grazing her thumb against Santana's jaw and connecting their lips again. The kiss starts chastely enough, their lips moulding together perfectly. Santana knows she shouldn't push anything further so she lets Rachel take the lead, her hands steadying herself on the couch as Rachel moves in closer, her hand now at the back of Santana's neck.  
  
Santana pulls away gently after another moment, eyes still closed as she feels Rachel's forehead against hers.  
  
"Was that okay?" Rachel asks softly.  
  
Santana opens her eyes and gazes into Rachel's, a smile tugging at her lips, "Trust me, Rach, that was much better than okay."  
  
Rachel smiles at that and clears her throat nervously, taking Santana's hand into hers again, "Now that I think about it, I don't think my couch is very comfortable to sleep on either." She mutters out.  
  
Santana takes a second to process what the other girl is actually saying and then --  
  
"Are you sure?" She asks quietly.  
  
"You let me sleep on your bed already." Rachel says, standing up and pulling Santana with her, "It wouldn't be fair if I made you sleep out here."  
  
They stand in front of the couch for another moment and Santana is pretty much done questioning how untimely or wrong this could be and just lets her instinct take over, tugging at Rachel's shirt pulling her back in.  
  
She's not entirely sure how they found their way to Rachel's bed without tripping over each other but when she feels the back of her knees hit Rachel's mattress, the smaller girl is already unbuttoning Santana's jeans and it doesn't take long for Santana to work out the mechanics of Rachel's dress.  
....  
So.  
  
It’s been a good morning. A really, really good one actually.

When she first opens her eyes, there's a split second that Santana forgets where she is, but then she feels Rachel move against her, humming slightly against Santana's neck and she can't even help but smile in spite of the dull throbbing in her head. As if on cue, the smaller girl flutters her eyes open and nuzzles further into Santana's embrace and Santana thinks there's something about being curled into a sleeping Rachel that-- well, she caught herself looking at the other girl for a while so yeah, what she's feeling is a little gross. She knows it's crazy because she didn't even know this girl existed up until a couple of months ago and she's embarrassed that all she wants to do is lean closer and wake her up just so she can see her eyes or something.  
  
That being said, she also knows that there's a few things they need to talk about. Like what exactly it is that they're doing and what does it mean for both of them? Is she ready for this type of commitment? And--  
  
"I can hear you thinking." She hears Rachel mumble before adjusting herself on her elbow so she’s looking down at Santana, “Are you okay?” she asks softly.  
  
"I’m just…well, where exactly does this leave us?" Santana asks before she even gets a chance to stop herself. Whatever it was that they were doing before last night is pretty much floating dead in the water at this point so there's no use in stepping around it.  
  
Rachel's silent for a few seconds, and Santana thinks she's asleep again but then Rachel shrugs the covers off her shoulders and then sits up against the headboard, "Where do you want it to leave us?"  
  
Santana almost lets out a snide comment about eloquence or something because that question doesn’t really make sense but she decides to let that go since Rachel is fidgeting with the covers again and isn’t even looking at Santana anymore.  
  
"Okay, before you say anything," Rachel says suddenly before taking a breath, "I just wanna say that if you don't want anything serious, that it's fine. I get that you were drunk and maybe you said things you didn't entirely mean but I want you to know that I don't regret it...and I still won't even if you say that it _is_ only a one time thing because _of course_ it should be considering my situation and I really should be thinking more long term and making adjustments to the big picture and--  
  
Santana leans in suddenly, capturing Rachel's lips in a kiss for a few seconds and then pulling away gently, "I thought that was a good way to get you to shut up for a second." She says softly.  
  
Rachel nods and mumbles a small "I'm sorry" that Santana waves away as she laces their fingers together.  
  
"You probably don’t know this about me, but I don’t do things half way.” She says, taking a deep breath, “When I’m in, I’m in so far that it scares the crap out of me. And look, I know you had other plans before any of this happened but—I don’t know…maybe I could be a small part of a new plan…if you want me to be, I mean.”

It shouldn’t be this easy. Or at least they both know it’s not always going to be, but right now, Rachel has this cute grin on her face and Santana just feels the need to kiss it off even though this conversation is only the tip of the complicatedly sized iceberg.


End file.
